00900

Where do you measure whales ?

At the whale weigh station

00462

Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

Up his sleeve-ies

07738

” Don’t believe everything you read on the internet”

Abraham Lincoln

00899

What did the alien gardener say?

Take me to your weeder

00461

Teacher: Where did Bill Hancock sign the American declaration of independence ?

Boy: At the bottom Miss

07737

What did Henry VIII do for one of his first dates ?

He took Anne Bowling

00898

How these toys work I just do not know

They just keep breaking apart, just like so

I’ll glue them together

Yes that will be clever

Now those toy blocks can never LEGO

00460

Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the dance ?

Because he had no body to go with

07736

Sherlock Holmes and Watson are lying on the grass looking up at the stars. Watson looks at the night sky ands says “looking at the millions of starts, millions of light years away, with the possibility of millions of planets some of which must be similar in some way to Earth, what do you deduce ?”

Sherlock thinks for a moment and then states. “The only thing one can say with absolute certainty, is that somebody’s stolen our tent”

00897

Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Mary

Mary Who ?

Merry Christmas