Whats the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth Hurty


Where do you measure whales ?

At the whale weigh station


Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

Up his sleeve-ies


” Don’t believe everything you read on the internet”

Abraham Lincoln


What did the alien gardener say?

Take me to your weeder


Teacher: Where did Bill Hancock sign the American declaration of independence ?

Boy: At the bottom Miss


What did Henry VIII do for one of his first dates ?

He took Anne Bowling


How these toys work I just do not know

They just keep breaking apart, just like so

I’ll glue them together

Yes that will be clever

Now those toy blocks can never LEGO


Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the dance ?

Because he had no body to go with


Sherlock Holmes and Watson are lying on the grass looking up at the stars. Watson looks at the night sky ands says “looking at the millions of starts, millions of light years away, with the possibility of millions of planets some of which must be similar in some way to Earth, what do you deduce ?”

Sherlock thinks for a moment and then states. “The only thing one can say with absolute certainty, is that somebody’s stolen our tent”