00897

Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Mary

Mary Who ?

Merry Christmas

00459

Why are Christmas trees bad at sewing ?

They always drop their needles

07735

Who delivers presents to baby sharks ?

Santa Jaws

00896

There was a magician called Stu

Whose wife tried to kill, yes it’s true

So she sawed him in half

Which was a bit daft

As now there’s not one Stu but two

00458

There was a dog breeder called Daniel

Who wed a frog breeder called Hazel

They went mad one night

And to their delight

Ended up with the first croaker spaniel

07734

I used to be conceited but now I’m perfect.

00895

I haven’t slept for three days

Because eight hours is enough

00457

I’m so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes shut

07733

What do you call a man with a car on his head ?

Jack

00894

What do you call a man with a family of rabbits on his head ?

Warren