My son thinks he’s a chicken, we would take him to the doctors but we need the eggs !
Sam: Is that a cabbage patch on your allotment ?
Alex: Yes, I’m trying to give up cabbages
Customer: I don’t believe this is rabbit pie
Waiter: Why not ?
Customer: Because its got hairs in it.
Customer: “£3000.00 for vegetable soup !!!!!”
Waiter: “Well it was 24 carrot sir”
Woman: If you were my husband I would poison your food
Man: If you were my wife I would eat it
All drinking water in this workplace has been personally passed by the management
My wife wanted a birthday meal whilst listening to string quartet.
So I bought her a burger at the Wimbledon doubles final.
Why does studying history keep you regular ?
Because it fills you full of dates.
What happens when you play table tennis with a rotten egg?
You don’t get much of a ping, but you sure get a pong