Teacher: Which is faster a slug or a snail ?
Pupil: The snail Miss, that’s why it wears a crash helmet
Mother: “How did your first day at school go Alex ?”
Alex: “Very well, out of all the class I was teachers pet”
Mother: “So did you get to sit at the front ?”
Alex: “No I got to sit in the cage”
Mother: “Do you think my daughter should take up the Piano professionally”
Music Teacher: “No I think she should put down the lid permanently”
And I am mental.
During bring a pet to school week a boy walks in with a newt on his shoulder.
“That’s nice” says the teacher
“His names Tiny” says the boy
“Why is he called Tiny” asks the teacher
The boy replies “because he’s my newt”
Teacher: Why are you always late for school Sam?
Sam: I’m not late, you all just start ten minutes to early